Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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