I'm eating all of the evidence.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
