Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
