My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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