I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's just like the Real World with babies
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
