If i come over, it means nothing
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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