The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
