When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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