Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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