we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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