she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
