Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
