but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
