She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
