Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
