At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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