i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
