Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We're like a lot better than the average bears
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize