Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
