soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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