Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
