Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
