Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
