I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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