did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
