i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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