i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
