Just took my morning after pill in the library
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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