As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
