So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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