Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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