we're blogging at a bar
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
