Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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