we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
