Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
