this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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