I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
