I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
