You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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