If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
