wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
