I hate your face
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
