Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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