we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
