At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Found your dick twin last night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
