I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
