Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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