East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
