Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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