thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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