I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
