There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
