So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
