I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
