I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
