Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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