I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
