shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
