just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
