my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
