Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
