PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
